![]() ![]() The infantry came under intense fire, seemingly from all directions at once, and within seconds the entire valley was completely littered with dying and wounded American soldiers. Crandall's company was in the process of combat-dropping the men of the 7th Cavalry Regiment in the Ia Drang Valley when all of a sudden the entire countryside erupted into a geyser of bullets, rockets, and general suckitude. His awesome callsign – Ancient Serpent Six (which honestly sounds like it would be a totally bitchin' name for a Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie) – also led to his men referring to him by the equally-bitchin' nickname "Old Snake".ĭealing out "death from above" while cranking Wagner from his boom box at maximum volume was cool and all, but it was during the bloody asskicking carnage on 14 November 1965 that Solid Old Snake Plisskin Crandall really made a name for himself as a stone-cold hardass who didn't flinch in the face of ludicrous amounts of danger and giant raging explosions. ![]() infantry battalions fighting on the ground during the An Khe campaign. In addition to helping develop the air assault and extraction tactics utilized by the entire Division (and, presumably, enjoying the smell of napalm in the morning), he also flew missions to support eight U.S. Bruce flew choppers as a company commander in the 1st Air Cavalry – the same unit portrayed blowing the hell out of everything in sight in the badass opening scene of Apocalypse Now - and led a number of missions across the dense canopy jungles of Vietnam. So, without complaining once, this crazypilot spent several years zooming out over some of the world's most dangerous and pants-soilingly inhospitable environments – bitter regions such as the Arctic Circle, the Sahara Desert, and the Amazon Rainforest – taking reconnaissance pictures and desperately trying not to crash-land into some unsurvivable, uninhabited death-hellhole in the middle of nowhere from which he could never hope to be rescued and could look forward to little more than a lonely death being slowly digested by some kind of weirdo carnivorous plant.Īpparently this sort of shizknuckle wasn't life-threatening enough work for Crandall, however, because before long he went out to serve in a little overseas entanglement known as the Vietnam War. Kirk, was to boldly go where no man has gone before, and presumably to bring back some sweet maps with him or something. Basically, this guy's mission, much like that of fellow badass Captain James T. 600 in beer league slow-pitch softball, but instead of being offered a multi-year deal for truckloads of cash and hot babes by some triple-A minor league club and retiring to a life of luxury, Bruce instead ended up being a first-round draft pick for the United States Selective Service System and shipped off to serve in the Army.Ĭrandall went to flight school and spent the first few years of compulsory military service piloting fixed-wing craft and helicopters, where he was tasked with the incredibly face-breakingly dangerous job of mapping previously uncharted territories. This is pretty damned impressive, especially considering that many people don't hit. Well Vietnam war hero Bruce Crandall not only won the Medal and lived to tell the tale, but he did it without firing a single bullet – this somewhat-insane, completely-fearless Sonic Boom of Awesomeness demonstrated his badassitude while piloting an unarmored transport vehicle and armed only by with his unbreakable sense of duty, a complete immunity to Fear-related spell-effects, and a well-polished set of giant titanium balls.īruce Crandall got his start inauspiciously enough, making a name for himself at an early age as an All-American high school baseball player in Olympia, Washington, where (among other things) he boasted a single-season batting average over. ![]() ![]() In fact, on average only one out of every six people who receive the highest honor bestowed by the United States military actually survives to accept the medal in person, so you can pretty much bet that any award in which things like "survival" and "not exploding" are merely optional is probably not something that's handed out to just any moron with an assault rifle and a skull-and-crossbones tattoo. In case you didn't know, earning the Congressional Medal of Honor for valor in combat isn't like exactly getting a gold star for attendance in second grade or unlocking the "Congratulations You Completed the Bullshit Tutorial Mission" achievement on some crappy low-budget first-person tactical shooter game. ![]()
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